How Do Mail Order Brides Work: Key Tips For You

What is a mail order spouse? Do mail order brides still exist? Read this guide to find out. But first, let’s summarize the content – if you don’t want to read the whole article, here’s what you need to know:

A mail order bride is a foreign lady who is looking for a partner for a serious romantic relationship from another country.
It still works in 2024. What’s more, it actually works much better in 2024 than a decade ago—with today’s convenient and trusted mail bride sites, finding a bride is easier than ever.
Yes, there are special websites for this purpose—you can’t find a mail bride on Facebook or Tinder. The platforms like SofiaDate, SakuraDate, LatiDate are available for both mobile and PC users, they are trustworthy, popular, and real.
The most popular countries for finding a bride are Ukraine, the Philippines, China, Colombia, and Mexico.

Now let’s dive a bit deeper into the ton of other questions popping.

Who are mail order brides?

What is a mail order bride? Who is she? Why is she looking for a partner abroad? Here are the answers.

Mail order bride history: How it’s started?

From the first “tobacco” brides in Jamestown to “Pelican” brides in other colonies, to Asian “picture” brides moving to the US in the 19th century, to European brides who decided to find a husband in the US during the 1848-1855 gold rush, the concept of mail brides has not changed drastically. Until the 1990s, the mechanism was simple: women sent their photos and descriptions to newspapers or catalogs, men chose among them, and then, they started exchanging letters.

Today, it changed.

Mail order bride nowadays: How is it going?

But the main idea is still the same: women send photos, men choose, and then, they start exchanging messages. The main difference is that today, it’s probably 100 times more convenient than even 30 years ago—now, the only thing both parties need is a stable Internet connection. Well, to be honest, it doesn’t even have to be stable: we know there are at least a few thousand of mail brides in Cuba, and this island is well-known for its awful access to the Internet.

Anyway, today, the process has changed and become much, much easier and faster. We’ll cover the “how it works” question later, and now, let’s answer another popular question.

What are mail order brides today? Who are they and why are they avoiding local potential partners, looking for love in other countries instead?

Most brides are from 3 regions: Asia (both Eastern and Southeastern), South America (incl. Mexico), and Eastern Europe. Most of them are single ladies in their 30s and 40s, but it depends on the region: Asian mail order brides are slightly older (the average age of a MOB in China is 35 years old) and brides from Slavic countries are younger (the average age of Belarusian brides is 27 years old, for example). 70% of them have no children, 60% of them are Christian, and 26% of them are advanced English speakers (48% of all mail brides describe their English level as intermediate). They are also very educated (63% graduated from a university).

Why are they doing it?

Actually, the most common reason is pretty similar to the reason why you’re looking for a bride abroad: it’s difficult for them to find what they need in their countries so they decided to find a foreign partner. For some of them, it’s about loyalty—men from certain countries are well-known for their infidelity. In Vietnam, for example, having a “small wife” (basically cheating) is a cultural thing and they don’t even consider it a problem. For some, it’s about societal pressure—in China, they call single women in their 30s “sheng nu”, and “leftover ladies”. For the others, it’s about respect—South American societies are very “machismo”, and in “machismo” culture, there’s no place for treating a woman with respect.

So the reasons might differ, but what they all want is a loyal man who would love them, treat them with respect, and care for them.

Benefits of Mail Order Bride Websites

So, why should you consider using mail order bride services in the first place? Here are just a few of their advantages:

Larger dating pool. Mail order bride websites typically encourage registration for women from a certain location, social groups, and age ranges. Hence, the women you meet there are more likely to meet your desired parameters.

Clear relationship intent. Mail order bride services are created with the sole purpose of helping people from different countries meet, build serious relationships, and explore marriage opportunities, so everyone is on the same page.

Keeping your options broad. With mail order bride sites, you get to talk to more than one woman at once for a long time, so if anything doesn’t work out, you can quickly move on to your other contacts.

Easier communication. Online dating can be a lifesaver for men who don’t thrive in the high-pressure environment of dating in real life — talking to women on the internet means you always have the time to think of what to say next.

Comfortable relationship pace. Different people have different relationship expectations, but as long as you’ve discussed everything with your woman and agreed on how you see the future, it’s up to you when exactly you are ready to reach the next milestone.

Who Uses Mail Order Bride Services?

The user base of mail order bride services is pretty equally divided between two large groups:

Foreign women who, for a myriad of reasons, have decided to marry a foreigner and move abroad with him permanently for marriage. These are women who are typically aged between 20 and 45, pretty fluent in English, and ready for a big change in their lives.
Western men, who have been fascinated with foreign women for some time before deciding to take the leap of faith and actually look for a foreign wife online. These men are ready to take on the responsibility, both personal and financial, to help their new family build a life together.

How Do Mail Order Bride Sites Work?

If you’ve never used mail order bride services before or don’t know anyone who has, they may seem overly complicated and formal. In reality, mail order bride websites work very similarly to dating services, except that while dating sites cater to all kinds of relationships, including casual connections, mail order bride sites are designed for serious, long-term dating and marriage prospects. Here is a quick overview of how they actually work from a user perspective.

Choosing the site

Mail order bride websites share a lot of functionality and even design features, so what you are really choosing here is audience, reputation, and competitive pricing. You should always check out independent reviews to find out if a site is a good fit for you.

Registration and profile creation

You will quickly realize that mail order bride services require men to be registered users before they can see any female profiles, let alone interact with them. The good news is that registration is free and takes under 2 minutes. The next step is filling out your profile, which you should take the time to do because it will increase your chances of matching with the right woman.

Exploration

On many mail order bride sites, women themselves are pretty active and often contact men first, so there is a possibility you will meet your partner that way. If not, you also have several ways to explore the site’s female audience — this usually includes search, matching systems, and swiping games.

Communication

The reality of mail order bride dating is that these relationships develop for months, if not for years, exclusively online. This is why it makes perfect sense that the communication features available on these sites include not only instant connection tools like chat and likes, but also tools for deeper connections, such as letters and gift delivery.

Security

Reputable mail order bride services take the safety of their members seriously. They often make profile verification for women mandatory, so you can know for sure that the woman in the photographs is actually the one you’re talking to. Payment data encryption and active customer support are also frequently used safety features.

How successful are mail order marriages?

So, do mail order marriages still exist? The answer is yes. 19,825 Fiance(e) visas were issued to foreign nationals in 2023 and the number is surely going to rise in 2024 because we still aren’t back to the pre-COVID level of K-1 visas.

But do mail order marriages work? Or maybe all those thousands of marriages are just fraud and they all get divorced during the first year?

No, they don’t get divorced, and yes, these marriages work. Let’s talk about numbers.

First of all, you need to know that in the US, the divorce rate in interracial marriages is higher than that in the same-race/ethnicity marriages.
Second, according to the statistics, if the husband and wife were born in “culturally distant” countries, the divorce risks are higher for them than for the same race/ethnicity marriages.

These two facts mean that mail order marriages—which are both interracial and between people from “culturally distant” countries—have no chance of success. Right?

Let’s add another fact. Russia, one of the most popular mail bride countries, has one of the highest divorce rates in the world (higher than 65%). Add this information to those 2 facts and it might look like the marriage with a Russian girl makes literally no sense because it will end in a divorce very soon.

However, the reality is different. In reality, the divorce rate in mail-order marriages between American men and Russian women is more than 10% lower than the divorce rate in the US (35.8% vs 48%). Just think about it: despite all the numbers, the marriages between Russian women and American men are actually less likely to end in divorce than the marriages between Americans. And it’s not only about Russia, of course, it’s just that only information about this country is available. In reality, mail order marriages are stable, happy, and successful no matter the nationality of your foreign bride.

Safety Tips for Using Mail Order Bride Services

In addition to the mail order bride site offering certain security measures, you should approach your own online dating safety with care as well:

Don’t share more of your personal information than you absolutely have to, including your exact workplace and home address, with people you’ve just met.
Pay attention to the common red flags of internet dating, including when the woman absolutely refuses to chat with you on video or send you a personalized video message.
Meeting in real life is the next logical step in mail order bride dating, so when your bride always has an excuse ready to avoid it, she may not be real after all.

What Is the Future of Mail Order Brides in the Digital Era?

So, what does the near future have in store for mail order bride services? Here are 3 trends we will continue to witness:

Dating is more intentional. People will join these services not out of curiosity, but because they are fully ready to transform their lives with an international romance or marriage.
Relationships will develop online. For many years, online dating services mainly served as a way for users to connect, while the relationship developed elsewhere. Modern mail order bride services act as platforms where the relationship can comfortably go through every phase.
AI is part of the game. Artificial intelligence is making its way into online dating: users actively employ it to improve their profiles and communication skills. Soon, AI will likely be integrated further for matching purposes as well.